Lady Helen (Isabella Rossellini), a double-amputee beer baroness, announces a competition to find the world's saddest music; nations vie for a crown of frozen tears & $25,000. Canadian contestant Fyodor (David Fox) is a drunken doctor who years earlier severed Lady Helen's gams during emergency surgery. By way of atonement Fyodor constructs a pair of shapely, beer-filled glass legs for Lady Helen.
